Who Am I Without Him?

May 1, 2004
Compilations of short stories and actual interviews lay bare teenage trials. Sharon G. Flake (The Skin I'm In) offers 10 portraits of teens and their romantic struggles in Who Am I Without Him? A girl gets a surprise response when she writes to a magazine advice column in "Wanted: A Thug," while a boy robs a house to be able to afford to take a girl to the prom in "Don't Be Disrespecting Me." The often-painful stories paint believable pictures of urban teens from a variety of backgrounds. .

May 1, 2004
Gr 7 Up-Written in the vernacular of urban African-American teens, which Flake captures flawlessly, these 10 stories have universal themes and situations. Some are funny and uplifting; others, disturbing and sad. In "So I Ain't No Good Girl," a teen wants to be with a good-looking popular boy, so much so that she tolerates his disrespect and abuse. In "Wanted: A Thug," Melody writes to a columnist for advice on how to steal a friend's boyfriend, unaware that the friend is the columnist's younger sister. Two of the stories are told from a boy's point of view. The concluding story, "A Letter to My Daughter," in which an absent father gives his daughter his advice about boys and men is sad, poignant, and loving. Flake has a way of teaching a lesson without seeming to do so. Addressing issues and situations that many girls face in today's often complex society, this book is provocative and thought-provoking.-Mary N. Oluonye, Shaker Heights Public Library, OH

Copyright 2004 School Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from April 15, 2004
Gr. 6-12. Hilarious and anguished, these 10 short stories about growing up black today speak with rare truth about family, friends, school, and especially about finding a boyfriend. Erika is a "ghetto girl" who likes white boys; she can't help it, and the other black kids in school can't stand her, because they know. Class is a big issue for Erin, who steals clothes so he can take a suburban girl to the homecoming dance. The church girls are forbidden to date, and they get hurt when they go hunting for boys. But their well-meaning parents don't have it right, and the girls won't stop looking. As with Janet MacDonald's fiction, the talk here is wild, angry, and outrageous, but there's no overt sex or obscenity. Yes, there are messages, but the narrative is never preachy or uplifting; it's honest about the pain. When one girl's boyfriend hits her, she apologizes "just like my momma does when daddy slaps her." The best advice comes from a dad who abandoned his family, who now tells his teenage daughter how to avoid getting stuck with someone like him ("you is so much more than a pretty face and a tight pair of jeans, some boy's girlfriend or some man's wife"). Not everyone makes it. The stories work because Flake never denies the truths of poverty, prejudice, and failure.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2004, American Library Association.)

July 1, 2004
Flake's stories go right to the deepest longings, fears, and needs of teens. In ten first-person narratives, Flake holds back nothing but judgment, allowing these young black women and men plenty of room for missteps in their search for love and self-esteem. "So I Ain't No Good Girl" follows the tough-talking narrator's roller-coaster relationship with "sweet, pretty Raheem" as he cheats on and mistreats her. She'll do whatever she can to appease him, remembering her mother's words, "You ain't no beauty prize." "Wanted: A Thug" is a wry take on the lure of bad boys, as "Cheryl," in a letter to a teen advice column, reveals her lust for her best friend's boyfriend. Good girls take principal roles later when "all ten girls from the Calvary Church of God's Blessed Example went hunting for boys--and found something a whole lot worse." Only in the final entry does the author give outright advice, through words of wisdom from a long-absent father. Flake considers the particular dynamics of relationships for black adolescents while addressing issues central to all teenage lives with insight and humor.

(Copyright 2004 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)

July 1, 2004
These stories go right to the deepest longings, fears, and needs of teens. In ten first-person narratives, Flake holds back nothing but judgment, allowing these young black women and men plenty of room for missteps in their search for love and self-esteem. Flake considers the particular dynamics of relationships for black adolescents while addressing issues central to all teenage lives with insight and humor.

(Copyright 2004 by The Horn Book, Incorporated, Boston. All rights reserved.)